SOMEDAY.....

The lyrics of it written inside explains .... everything....

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see this through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can't tell
I'm down,and I'm not do anyway
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

SEX

Have you run through your life by old folks telling you when you make a mistake... Telling you to learn it, like it, love it.. You know what usually people says?
There is a saying If a man likes you, he's going to want have sex with you... That is a Definitely YES!!! Myself has experienced it.. Sure things may slow down in a long term relationship but then, it's a joy, a gift and its your right to have a fantastic sex life...

C'ommon... I'm taking about sex here... Everyone here knows what is sex??? DUHHHH!!!
Talking about sex.... ASking about sex... Asking for sex??... Geeezzz.... Sounds damn FUN right??I don't know about you.. But to me I rather believe, any day of the week if a man is too scared, too stressed, too sad or whatever into anything... I know... They will want to end up to have sex with you...

Sometimes its extra confusing or shy to talk about sex topic...It's embarrassing with mixed emotions... It's horrifying together with our own insecurities... turns out a nightmare!!! BOOOMMM!!!

In a really serious long term relationships, people always say sex does go-away... but Hey! Have you ever taught that your partner will be more compatible and him being a good person and potentially a great father?? That's good news right? To me it is.... I still yet to wait for him... How I wish my own ex will be asking me to be his girlfriend back again.... I've been waiting for it... and the days I'm having is good or bad... I don't know... (:

I'm not talking about the ones you see on the streets slobbering all over each other. Who knows what they're like behind closed doors. I'm talking about my friends who I know quite well, who manage to juggle work, careers, intimacy, even kids and still manage to have sexy and loving relationships. I could easily settle for less if I couples, who just thought, " What's so big deal about that"??
FUNNY!!! BUt I;m not that type of person... I'm the type of person who looks at them and says.. DAMN!! That's what I want!!. It's really a bitch.

Simple explanation

At this moment on, right now as you read this make this a solemn vow about your future romantic relationships. I hate talking about my feelings. I hate talking about my "relationship". I know I'm a chick and chicks are supposed to be all emotional but I'm not. I don't like it one bit. I particularly don't like asking a guy where the relationship is going or how he feels about me. Ewwww.. It should be natural and easy and obvious. But wait! I used to asked that ...taahaa.... now change mind....(:

So I guess if I have to start thinking and planning and devising all sorts of ways to find out what kind of situation. SHIT!!But starting a new relationship is terrifying... We are old enough to have experienced or witnessed the triage of broken romance. We know that if there has been a beginning to a relationship there has been if we are still out there dating always end to the relationship. And worst the endings always suck big time!! Don't you agreed? Yes? NO?

Women will try all sorts of tricks and diversions and distractions to try not to notice that we might in fact be getting into a relationship. That just seems like a very not understandable aspect to human nature. So what in the beginning it have a little vague ? Who wants to be that crazy girl who needs to know exactly what is going on the minute she meets a guy? You want be the cool girl or the girl who knows how to hang out and not be all demanding?? Choose your pick.....

To me... That's who I always was and wanted to be......(:

The thing is even a cool girl will get her feelings hurt and yet she still won't have reactions to how's she being treated....I don't know... Maybe its just me....
As I grow older, my priorities have changed. Now I don't want to be the " sort of dating" someone. I don't wanna spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved..I wanna to be involved. I want to sleep with the special someone.
I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they are trustworthy and honorable. and into me that's for sure. Definitely in the beginning you have to be somewhat cautious about how much you give away. But that caution shouldn't be to make them well more comfortable it should be because you know that you are ultimately a delicate, valuable creature who should be careful and discerning about who gets your affection. That's what I'm doing now. And it's not going so badly..

A Man has it All in Him

Andrew... I known him through Facebook and HE added me... I just got to know he's Vnoth schooling friend..... Chatted with him ... Very nice and friendy and down to earth person and did i say he's HandsOme tooo??? I love his style.... Impressive!! Caught my eyes when I first browse through his album of the whole collection.... =)

Well, The Artist The Producer The Composer The Song Writer The Arranger The Visionary Born in Malaysia, raised in Penang, is of mixed parentage of Indian Chinese, has been composing his own music since he was 13 years old, plays the guitar since he was 12 and sings his own compositions ever since. He has successfully soft launched his promotional album on the 30th of August 2008 here in Penang Sunset Bistro. Experienced in performing in numerous events here in Malaysia, his album is scheduled to be released year-end 2008. A lover of nature, arts, cooking and photography, writing songs about love, nature and motivation … he is ready to storm the nation with his release of his first album ANDREW L.D “Walking Star”.

I'm impressed with his whole career vision... Seriously... I never compliment a person before like this.. but he has it with him... it's called TALENT..and he's well gifted.... and watch his video below... I totally love it!!!




arrghh..I'm so in love with his ALBUM!!!!

It Captures ME!!!

I just watched it in HitzSoulFood in AStRO 10mins ago.....
Enjoy the video.....muax!!

You're Lucky If You Meet One of Them

The best part of living on a string of randomness is, you're never going to know who you're going to meet. Somewhere around the world, there are strangers who are waiting to know you. Somewhere at this very moment, there are strangers who are yet to be friends of yours. Billions of people will encounter you, some of them will know you, a few of them will be close to you, but only a very small number of them will define you. And it's very hard to say which one of them is the real definition of being somebody. But I can tell you this you're lucky enough if you meet one of these people, at the very least.

1. Those who listen.

Believe me, you may not want to hear anything from anybody. You may not want to get any attention from those around you. But you will definitely want someone to listen to you, and make every word you say is worth every minute.

2. Those who tell.

When you're in need, they appear and give what is best for you. They should not tell what you should or shouldn't do, but they should tell what you're supposed to do when you want to. A piece of neutral advice, or thousands of suggestions, they are the ones who provide them.

3. Those who comfort.

It's not necessarily portrayed in a form of physical contact or abstract words. Sometimes it is merely enough to know that they are there for you. When you know they exist somewhere, even though you don't see them, you're already comforted. That's them.

4. Those who walk with.

Be it into the brightest day of your life or the darkest shadow of your fright, life will never be so threatening when you have someone who always walks right beside you. If happiness and sadness don't have any effect on them, what makes you think it will have any on you?

5. Those who stop.

The greatest friend is not the one who always says yes to everything you say. Instead, the greatest is the one who dares to say no to you when you want to jump into something you're not supposed to. A friend who always praises will kill you, and a friend who mocks will make you remain awake.

6. Those who love.

Everyday you wish to love and to be loved. But have you ever thought about a day when you meet people and you never know that one day you're going to fall for them. It's the easiest type of people to meet. You will encounter them sooner or later, and you will feel so great. But remember, the easiest and the greatest don't promise you the best. Nevertheless, they complete you perfectly.

7. Those who inspire.

It is the hardest one to catch. Hear my words carefully. There will be people whose words and wisdom never cease to amaze you. There will be people whose talks and writings never fail to bless you. There will be people who sing songs and poems to you, and not even one bit of regret penetrates you. The only questions are, do you even realize that they are around? And if you do, what are you up to?

That's why I said you're so damn lucky if you're able to meet one of them, and you're luckiest if you have all of them beside you. So, have you met one today?

Those Little Things That Don't Belong

I got a few questions I want to ask you guys, and hopefully you can answer 'Yes' at least for one of them. So here we go. How often in a day you spend your time watching people you don't know? How often in a day you spend your time listening to conversations from people you don't know? How often in a day you spend your time reading things you don't want to read? How often in a day you spend you time asking yourself questions you don't want to answer? Oh yeah, obviously you can't answer 'Yes' to these questions, right? I was just messing with you. I happened to write that sentence spontaneously and was too lazy to delete it. Heh, please forgive me. But seriously, how often?

Normally, we're bound to do things we want to do. We don't want to give a care about things unrelated to us. But when the time comes, whether we realize it or not, we have to get involved in situations where we don't belong. And trust me, this kind of situations gives us a lot more reasons to learn and improve.

There was a day at the KTM station where everybody was bored and had to wait for the delayed train patiently. The rain had just stopped. Then, there was this guy who worked there and he diligently swept the rain water off the floor. I was there and realized that while he was sweeping the floor, everybody stared at his activity and was kind of spaced out. EVERYBODY. That included me. But of course, my eyes were more attracted by those staring eyes instead of the floor-sweeping man.

The sound of the activity echoed throughout the station. The way that man did his job seemed to have petrified every soul there and he became the centre of attention. My question at that moment was, "What are their minds thinking while watching that man sweeping?". Well, I'm sure they thought about a lot of things, and that was the beauty of it!

Every little thought that comes across our minds decides the next move we're going to take. It's like a decision. We can say that the thought is spontaneous and doesn't count a penny, but nevertheless, it's our thought. If we don't agree with it, we'll just have to think of a new one. Isn't that us? So, during that moment of 'gazeless' stare, those people including me, had come up with something to ponder which might as well lead to some events in the future. Small or big, that depends on each of us. But we did come up with something.

So my point here is very simple. Every little thing that we do or see everyday actually plays at least a small but significant, if not big and important, part of our lives. In fact, they provide a lot more options for us to consider since they aren't restricted to our wanting-for-something nature. It's simply because they are born out of nowhere and we don't even plan for them. They start from those little things that don't belong.

Three Reasons Why We Should Say ‘I Am Sorry’

Life’s not easy and it will never be. That’s why God gives us friends, partners and family for company. Sometimes they make us smile, sometimes they make us cry. Whatever that is, when they’re here, life is always worthwhile. But what about us? What do we do when we weren’t there for them, or when we broke their heart? It’s hard to find a reason to admit that we’ve made a mistake. However, if we think carefully, our judgment, attitudes and words are the solid reasons why we should say ‘I am sorry’.

William Shakespeare once said,There is nothing either good or bad. But thinking makes it so. From his words, many people normal or abnormal, rich or poor, brilliant or dumb, they believe that whatever comes from our judgment does affect our relationship tremendously. Yes, it is our thinking. Sometimes when we think about someone we see them as what we believe they are. Because of that we misunderstand and underestimate them. Sometimes we think that they are worthless and only bring troubles to us. Furthermore, if we had bad experience with certain people before we tend to judge them based on that experience alone and never try to see the good side of them. We never give them a second chance to prove that they have changed. This makes them deserve an apology. Yes, I’ve to admit that I too do this kind of stuff. My bad. Sorry.

Then, here our attitudes make their first debut.Uh huh, attitudes play so many important roles in destroying a relationship. For example the way we respond to a friend’s joke. Even if the joke isn’t funny enough to make us laugh, it’s okay to smile a bit at least for the effort. But we mock and humiliate them instead. Plus when we find that we have a different way of life that would never be the same with them we create barriers in between and treat them with ignorance and prejudice. This always happens in relationships, especially when race and religion take place. So if we ever do this to anybody,then by now we should have already realized that we must say sorry.

Lastly, the third reason why we should apologize is of course our words. In fact, words can be the most suicidal thing in a relationship. We often believe that we have the rights to say out loud what’s in our heart, forgetting the fact that we’re talking to another heart. In a conversation for instance, it is normal to disagree, but it doesn’t mean we should end it with name-calling and foul language. Moreover, we never realize that we might have hurt someone’s feelings when we say without thinking the consequences, especially when it comes to personal appearance in public. For example, ‘Hey, you look fat.’ It may be an ordinary statement that comes out sincerely, but it can be offensive and embarrassing to the ones we are talking to. Funny, I don't do or say that... Even though I'm a straight forward person hence to me it's quite offensive as I'm a very sensitive person... Well, I'm a PISCES! That's explains!

So, to wind up, we should realize that preserving a relationship is not as easy as creating it. That’s why we must always be aware of our judgment, attitudes and words towards our companionship. Even the slightest tardiness in comprehending their importance can cause turmoil and eventually lead damage to the relationship.

Always remember, discretion is the better part of valour. And hey, this is only an opinion. Don’t use this for your factual studies or assignments. Only a brat would copy and believe that everyone can accept this. Owh, I’m sorry.

So my friends, say sorry!

Hope Is The Only Thing That Keeps Us Alive

We may fail to realize this, we may not, but every single day that we live, we wish for something. Say that we have already got everything that we ever wished for, and say that we still have not got any of them. What would we do? Say thanks? Moan? Curse? Or smile gratefully?

Or perhaps, we would make a wish.

Today when we live, we wish tomorrow we shall live again. Today when we go to sleep, we wish tomorrow we shall wake up and have a better day. Today when we do not have what we want, we wish tomorrow we shall get it. Today when we get what we want, we wish tomorrow we shall still have what is ours now. Today when we are alone, we wish tomorrow shall never be the same. Today when we are not alone, we wish that it shall last forever. Today when we are hungry, we wish tomorrow shall give us food. Today when we are full, we wish tomorrow we shall eat again. Today when we fall in love, we wish tomorrow shall bring us closer to the loved ones. Today when we are already in love, we wish tomorrow shall never come and make today remain still. Finally, today when we lost someone dear, we wish tomorrow shall wake us up from a bad dream.

This is us. We make wishes. We make believe. We hope. This is all of us. We are all the same. Except for the difference between those among us who hope and do something and make themselves hopeful, and those among us who hope and do nothing and make themselves hopeless.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze - Always be Remembered

I love all the movies which has been acted by him!!
SOOO ROMANTIC!! yayaya.. i being jiwang now..BUt he's really a good actor... No one can doubt it or do or sing how he does it......

Watch one his video which caught my eyes....

Updated PICS

** In d pool @ PD **love love **


















Sorry boys n girls.... didn't have time to update my latest pictures....
These pictures is been taken everywhere from partying to holiday @ The Legend International Water Homes, Port Dickson, i can say the most LUXURY and EXPENSIVE Ones I have ever stayed before but no regrets as I love our own POOL....... facing the sea view!!! =)

Daniel Merriweather

I love the content of the lyrics ..

Here's a song that came on the radio while I was writing this which is now stuck in my head. I hope it gets stuck in your too.

Fairytale

Growing up, I was greatly influenced by fairytale endings. Hmm..

When the girl/boy finally finds true love, happy ending won't happen until the dashing young man/prince defeats the witch/monster that tries to separate them first. Usually the evil works but only for a while. Eventually, the two young lovers will overcome whatever spell they were under with the help of dwarves or Sebastian the Jamaican Crab.

In reality, you're usually separated due to financial constraints. Or geographical constraints. Or cultural differences. I'm sure many people can come up with lots of reasons why they can't be together with the love of their lives (for now or forever).

So I think love alone is not enough to bring and keep people together. It takes trust and patience too (lots of it!) These fairytales forgot to mention that or its too complicated to explain to children. I mean, seriously, if there were no patience or trust that they would be together again, I imagine the young prince would just give up looking for the girl who could wear the glass slipper.

I used to believe in true love... I was young and naive..and yes I was...
Still I'm not sure weather waiting for him is right thing but I know my instincts is right...

.................................


If I were a guy proposing to a girl like me, I'd present the girl with two things: a glass slipper and an engagement ring. Then I'd say "Sweetheart, if you could fit into one of these, I'd be very honoured if you would be my wife."


We should all be grateful that I'm not a guy.








Fairytale will always have a happy ending and I deserve it too!! =)

Music as PainKiller..... Self expression

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone

Don't be hatin'

Here's a sweet song I want to share with people who are in love and those who want to be in love. I think it's better to be brave enough to put your heart on the line and getting hurt if it doesn't work out than to hold back and not find out what could have been.

(Just don't give in too much though. There's a difference between being brave and stupidly daring.)

Read when you're bored

READ. ONLY. WHEN. YOU. BOTHER. READING. IT.


Question is, The latest hip is to be emotionally unstable? physically hurt? unconsciously lying to ourselves?


Now, who's going to understand YOU? BUT YOURSELF
Understand that, everything happens for a reason and YOU are definitely the reason for everything.
Make belief that the whole pain that you put yourself through, is caused by NOBODY BUT YOU ( oh yeah, wonder girls..)


My friend here, TDot just gave me his msn address and it reads," godsave_thequeen ".
Who doesn't understand this, please sit on your chair.
1. Miss "Queen" or Queenie is definitely the winner for her/his life.
2. She/ He wins all the games in its life.
3. God. Our lifesaver( if you're christian or catholic) saves ONLY THE WINNER.

~It makes a total whole cow of sense to me~


still don't understand? sit still. and read on.
YOU. GOTTA. BE. THE. WINNER. FOR. YOURSELF.

how to?

1. Stop the emo craps. It won't make you a better person, crying for another person.

2. Dont self-pity. Only losers do it and come on, you're definitely someone sweet to me , else I wouldn't have done this for ya.

3. Stop seeking attention from anyone but yourself. PAY THOSE ATTENTIONS TO YOURSELF.

4. If you have been telling everyone bout your story, STOP IT RIGHT NOW. It's 100%pointless, we can't help you. Why don't you write a diary and sell it out in a flea market? BRILLIANT.

5. Do.not.ever.ever.forever.make.someone.feel.superior. Its the last thing you wanna do to ruin a relationship! The key is, make yourself superior so the others respect you and appreciate you.

6. NEVER EVER EVER SHOW to anyone that you're upset about anything. It makes you a lemon juice or looks like Miley Cyrus on upskirt shot.

7. By the way, why do you need a bf/gf? You die alone anyway. I used to ask a good friend of mine every single god damn night, "WHY DON'T I DESERVE A BOYFRIEND?" His reply, " You do, you're just unlucky" and it stops cause Im fed up of my bloody question and of course, I'm being a picky arse.

8. It is 2010. The percentage of people getting into a divorce is higher than people stays forever. So, say "BULLSHIT" if your man or girl says " I WILL BE WITH YOU FOREVER. WE'LL GET MARRIED WITH 9 DUMB KIDS".

9. Promises shouldn't be made. Never promises a promise. Promises kill one. Promises take you for granted. SAY Fml,promises.

10. THINK LIKE YOU'RE DYING. IS THAT THE LAST THING YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE?


moving on to A FULL STOP.

STOP COMPLAINING.
"CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND X3, PLEASE DON'T WASTE MY TIME X3, PLS STOP ALL UR WHINE X3"

Feel like banging yourself? go ahead,if it makes you any richer or wiser. and trust me, those friends that ask you to stop doing it, they are indirectly asking you to do more cause you are seeking the attention and hopefully someone out there will pity you.

CRY? lock yourself down in yr car under heavy strong black trees, smash your phone, CRY OUT LOUD. THEN PLEASE GET DOWN FROM THE CAR, JUMP TO THE HIGHEST, SCREAM YOUR NAME, SLAP SELF, SMILE, GO HOME SLEEP.


For those who has been cursing the other, thanks for the curse. The world is now a "better" place to live in. POINTLESS, SUGAR. curse once for self comfort, curse twice shame on you.

You know the way out, You found the way out, You cursed cause you feel stupid about yourself. So why curse then pledge for forgiveness then curse then emo then die?

BLAME YOURSELF FOR ALL THESE. YOU LET ALL THESE HAPPEN. YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF ALL EVENTS.

For those who has been helping your friends, STOP ALL ACTS.
They should be helping themselves and none of us can help. Not even God.
We're not going to win the Appreciation Award by Sister Mary.





ps* I'm not God-sent.
But, Do what i just typed, You'll find your way out.
You just helped yourself to help me to help myself.


time shows everything, time teaches us.
Of all the flaws we have, Look into the mirror,
tell yourself that You worth more than what you're seeing.
Happy not, You're the decision maker.
Feelings are self controlled.
Dont let your mind play games with you.


Lastly,
SMILE AT EVERY MISTAKE YOU MADE.
MAKE A JOKE OUT OF EVERY MISTAKE.


God bless.
The Universe loves you.
Out of more than 5 millions sperms to meet an egg, You're already a winner to your other brothers and sisters.

THINK.X

"Everything" by Lifehouse

Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?



this is the best song you can ever listen to.Maybe it'll speak to you the way it did for me and millions of others.

Listen to Dru Hill - Angel

Very touching song!!! Very sad..... yet very beautiful song.....

girl it's been so long
since i held you in my arms
so i picked up pen and paper
and decided to write you a song

verse two
things just ain't the same
since you took your love away
all i have is dark and lonely days
cause the sun don't shine my way

bridge
wish that i could find the words to say
to show you love is real
the words just can't express the way i feel

chorus
you're my angel
my sun up in the sky
we've been through hell and back together
why you wanna leave me now
only you can ease the pain i feel
and wipe my tears away
won't you fly back home and make me whole again

verse three
baby not a day goes bye
that i don't want to cry
when i think of what we had
how you walked out of my life

verse four
all i had was yours to take
till my heart you chose to break
still wish that i could make love to you
just one more time for old times sake

bridge
if only i could find the words to say
to show you love is real
the words just can't express the way i feel

chorus
you're my angel
my sun up in the sky
we've been through hell and back together
why you wanna leave me now
only you can ease the pain i feel
and wipe my tears away
won't you fly back home and make me feel whole again
come back home
come back home
cause without you here beside me
my house is not a home
only you can ease the pain i feel
and wipe my tears away
won't you fly back home and make me whole again
you're my angel
my sun up in the sky
we've been through hell and back together
why you wanna leave me now
only you can ease the pain i feel
and wipe my tears away
won't you fly back home and make me whole again
you're my angel
my sun up in the sky
we've been through hell and back together
why you wanna leave me now
only you can ease the pain i feel
and wipe my tears away
you've been gone too long so won't you come back home


Video clip : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHqMTyLRCng

Girlfriend Outing

Today after my interview, called Veron and meet up with her and Yazmin was already with her...so why not... Went to MCD, sekyen 14 nearby my house to have nuggets and spend Veron and Yazmin a drink and u know chit chat and lots of stories to tell..as usuall...=)


After that, walked to Veron's house and i told her to paint my nails striking blue...hehe..and my toes purplish....hehe..totally blend with my fair skin tone...lolz...looks...wid and pretty..not boring colors!!!

Then as usual we were talking bout guys, sex, everything! hehe...
Waited for the rain to stop, then Yazmin have to go home already and me stuck at Veron's house and she suddenly came out an idea to go out...watch a movie and have dinner together..but we both were thinking it will be jammed cause its raining so heavily and will be packed so why not just do it tomorrow... instead...

so we went to Pizza Hut, seksyen 14 to have dinner,.,., Before that, Veron and me walking home to my house with a big umbrella....hehe... like old skool days.... so I took my shower and took my car to go to pizza hut..drove 2 rounds to find a parking....

We ordered the 2 person, set inclusive of 2 mushroom soups, 2 glass of pepsi, 1 small cheezy beef pizza, 1 tempura prawn spaghetti and add on chili chicken wings. SO FULL!!! and i couldn't eat already....and Veron's forcing me to eat...MY STOMACH SO FAT!!! huhu.....

Then she want to go to DVD shop..so we went me and her bought 3 DVD's and FREE DVD which we are allowed to choose.. It's really clear.... and now I'm watching it some...hehe...

So tomorrow I suggested to her why not have a movie marathon at her house since our boyfriends is not here.... lolz...better la.... beeennn ages i din do that spending time with my girflriends.... Veronica knows me too well... even at her house her mum cooked corn..u knw jagung??? then she told me she put butter and salt on it so the taste will look better... so okay i eat.. then stop me.. she said : You better don't eat all of it , later you won't take dinner at all... or you will eat damn litte... HAHAHAHA!!! I say wahh you really know me ya.... then she say of coz la..how many many years man...Actually we known each other like 15years already since primary till NOW! It's hard to maintained this kind of friendship as we grew from young till now there is like so many things to laughed about... and we just grow.... and I would like to say she is one of my bestest bestest girlfriend....seriously... she's bubbly and all whatever she takes....=)

So today i had a great time with her.. It's really good....

Stresssssss...... More stressss....more more stressss.......

Today, 1.35pm.... I'm getting more stressed in whatever I'm doing... Stressed as in really dead stresss... Screaming to myself what does it have to happened to me in this way... what did i do to deserve it??? Am I really that "Useless" or stupidddd??? AM I??? I always Question myself almost every single day... Never missed it.... I do it when I'm home.... Outside.... Anywhere.... with friends......Boyfriend?? I'm getting so miserable..... too gloomy and sad untilll I don;t even want to talk to my own boyfriend....

She's like finding her ownself in her own body.. but it's getting too deep into her whereby she has too many dreams which sometimes it did came true.... She cannot think anymore... cannot do what she always plan for the next day... She don't want to talk or express it out... If she feels comfortable and yes she will scream her lungs out... and NOW..... She's living in her own dark world... in her dark room.... YOU...if you are reading it..... and thinking im really a pathetic psychotic person, please leave my blog...


TOO MANY of stupid problems keep arising non stop from the start from dunno years ago till now...... makes me go GILA!!
I can talk to myself.... yes i could... i can do it everyday.... I don';t care....

You know, I always pray I'' died in a car crash accident.... How I wish I will... I don't know why...
So many times problems which makes me sick like this makes me not to love myself......

I did have many, many times nearly nearly got into an accident......

First Nearly escape accident :

1) The night before that, I cried for some reasons.... The next morning I woke up... My mind wasn't in me... I get ready... I walked out from my house.. I din see any car coming.... It was empty.... I walked, I was supposed to go to college.... I stand in the middle of the road.... I don't even know what the hell am i thinking... Like I said,....My mind isn;t with me....The car was really honking at me and I did not even hear a single thing... He was so close to my body... damn close... until someone shouted at me..and my mind woke up.... I cross over.... and funny I don't even know what exactly happened to me.....( Very true story as my OWN MUM was there )




Continue next day.... She's out of MOOD!

Knowing people.....

These are the people which were supporting during my 1st heat of pageant... Thanks!
Left : Nic, Wilma + Khairul + Natasha + Jaya ++ Stephanie...

and my bestest good friend of all..... the one who listens to my gossips....the one that i always take her in for my photoshoot and the one that accept for who I am

You see the middle girl ...she look alike like Amber Chia right? She's from Taiwan and she's really damn damn tall!!! Can't remember her name......loozzzz

This is the joker la... Patrick Tee.... yeah he looks old here...hehe...
But he's a really really nice person... No regrets in knowing him......
He don't care whether you are fat, short, thin or anything....
For him taking nice pictures for the model is much more important as the quality of the picture counts so as the lighting and effect and themes....

Great Models and Beautiful Models in Person.....

Me and Kelvin, he's the make up artist from SNIPS and yes he's the one who did the make up for me as I was supporting Angela so my makeup was all in purple... even my lips color...=)... she was in the 2nd batch of pageant... Mine was 1st batch....
Was supposed to go in together but she was unable to make it... so separated....=(

Left : Sharon ( Model ) + Patrick ( birthday boy ) + ??? + ME!!
yeah celebrated his birthday at Pyramid..year 2008 i think...

Camwhoring as usual before the pageant starts!

All participants.... =)
Enjoy viewing, there is a lot alot more!!!!

More pica..........

Me and my beautiful Sabahan Angela Audrey.. Love her too bitsss!
I met her during the launch of Models Magazine till then we became so closed till now....
Happy to make great friends!!

All the participants :
Right : Sweet jessy Lim now an Air Asia air stewardess + Belle + Jessica How + cnt rmber + Yvonne Khoo + cnt rmber + Michelle

DJ of the night!

Singer from a live band... her voice is drop dead damn GOOD!!

Co- founder & Director of Models Magazine...= Leng Yein
She's only 24 years old when she did her own magazine from scratch and she did deals with a lot of nasty people to get this event performed smoothly....and still there is people who wants to bribe her..... anyhow was so glad everything turns out perfect!

Continuing pictures.....

Supporters from LY, Belle, and PatrickTee and friends. All purposely bought so many of the thingy so that I can win ).... It counts on that and the marks from Judges as well.

The judges are Jeff, (model ) and the rest was all Models and Agencies.
So bear with me my pose was normal only as its my first time doing in club and I was so nervous....

Hair Stylist : SNIPS

1st Part : My own clothing

2nd : Belle bikini's

3rd : Belle dress

Accessories : Own

Miss Malaysia C18 Dreamgirls Pageant

Final part : In a casual dressy wear

Pose.. poseee...poseee

2nd : Bikini part : me turning sideways as first time in pageant and there are photogs everywhere... dunno where to look at.... =)

in a close pic

I like this so far.... Side angle is way better looking for me even Leng Yein agreed so...

1st Part : Back View, thanks to Patrick Tee, official photographer for Models Magazine.

Me introducing myself in front of thousand of people to support me as a new beginner

and my best angle again.....

This is me !!! in year 2007.....Believe me or what... I lost 5kg in 3 weeks.... and I have to do so cause Leng Yein told me she delayed the pageant because of me... she told me to lose wieght in 3 weeks time and I was "" sHHIT...how am i going to do that"" well nothing is impossible.... just have to be really strict with it... and I was so happy! I lost my double chin and my belly is flat... really really small tummy... even when i sit down...there's just left small tyre... =)I can still remember... so my target for now is to be back like this and lose weight till i reach 45kg!!

ALL participants for the nights!
and I didn't win only able t be the finalist but oh well for me experience that counts....

** Smile smile **

PS : The club looks very familiar to you?? hehe... It's the turnover club to MIST!

Photoshooting for Models Magazine

These 1st pic is my most favorable among the rest. Was taken place at Leng Yein studio house located @ Bangsar Villa.
Accessories and clothing = belongs to her.
Hair Stylist : Alex Gun


Photographer : Hong Kai

Make up Artist : Sponsors from LY















Left : The first Models Magazine been released out nationwide including Brunei, Sarawak and Sabah.

Right : It's me inside for the lingerie catwalk... Tiny me.... =)
( Cannot see what I'm wearing cause it went by heights) so yeah....

Modeling Experience... or Life

==> Ticket been sold that night!

Sorry, the pictures are all under one wire, so here are the events in year 2007 @ Ruums, first opening Models Magazine launch.. these are the crowds....


the two lingerie models which you can seen are the MC's for the night and yes they are Models. =) and the right side, is the Models Magazine Adv...


This is me.... 21 years old, taken by someone...( my first time supporter ) ... and is my first ever time involving in modeling line.. never been my thing to do but i always wanted to try.. so why not... and yes I was gaining weight at that time.... now no...different...As I know I can do it.....Just need time....

Hair Stylist : SNIPS
Clothing : one of the famous and expensive boutique located at Damansara Perdana.

Well.................

I have A story to tell, I'm just like any other girl who seeks things in life, she's a lil over dramatic and sometimes she wary over non-existence believes. She is a person who allows another to take her for granted and that makes her a person who sees NO evil but only good, she vunerable & a lil crazy but her intentions are pure as innocents. At times, she even lies to herself to keep her Heart content, if you take a look at her closely, everything she does is all done for you alone until she almost forgot that she comes First before all, yet you are still her World and every inch of her world is filled with only great compassion for you; The beauty part is, she ask for nothing in return.

It takes one to be like her.

2010

This year, a new year to begin my new life with my new boyfriend + new resolutions. The boyfriend name is Sherman ShriJaya. How i know him? Well, this is the first time I actually did know a guy through my friend, mostly all my ex which I met and known are through Friendster, or Myspace, I know very in an uncommon way to get to know your partner. So now him, i know him in real life is like the happiest thing which happened to me. Its a new thing for me. =)

It started on November 26th i guess, ( oh gosh this is embarrassing cause I only remembers the date i said that he's mine ) It was Ladies Night at Habanero. and i was with Jessica only and yeah there is fugly things which happens and I don't even want to remembered it. It's a lesson to learn and also a lesson to remembered and think wisely. I remembered I was dancing with 2 guys and Jessy in the end i was dancing with him. I was rather shy at first and i keep look out at Jessica as I'm always very protective of her as there will be idiots will be disturbing her. and yes there is...

I remembered I keep on asking him for Coke for Jessy, so its like really not nice you know.. For me its really really not nice to ask a person when you don't even know him at all....It's just me....
So when the club ends, we were talking with the deena's sister, and others which I can't remember their names... and HIM.... and i was so embarrassed because I have to ask his name twice as I can't remembered.... so yeah....Then he ask for my mobile number which I was sooo happy cause I was expecting him to ask me... haha....

On Saturday night he invited me for this club hopping with Deena and her friend which I got to know. Vic..... and i was surprised.. wow.. he ajak me... hurm.mmm.. so I accepted it.... and when i reach Habanero at that time, when I was used to be with the ex, he didn't even talked to me.. I was feeling so uncomfortable... SMS him also he don't even want to reply...Got reply but so cincai...so i was like "Okay, he don't want to talk to me... fine then... and so i went to the ladies, i notice he was behind me... in my heart thinking want to stop and say hi? better don't....

Around 1.30am, we left Habanero and got into his car, and next thing i know,,,, he finally talked to me!!! after so many hours..... Greeat right? Next thing, he terus hugged me and kiss me on the cheek... I was " Woah.. okay that's fast" and I was smiling all the way... so you know Im shy and happy as well.... We went to first stop- Frangipani , my first time there and really damn alot of WHITE DUDES!!! Seriously but all so ugly.... Sorry to say this but you know just not my cup of tea....

Out of a sudden, he asked me to pass my pink shoulder bag to him, so I say its okay. I can hold it..as I'm very concern with my bag.. Not because its pink... its my belongings inside... It's very precious and important to me...If it's gone, I'll freak out and cry like a mad women! Trust me, I will ..... * smile smile ** so and then he was carrying it... I was shock and pause.. Okay... in my mind " i was thinking should I ask him whether is he flirting wit me.. and I did... I know he is...either he was denying it... I donnooo.... then he ordered Vodka shots... which I can't take it cause I can't... and I din finish it.. So sorry......

Next pit stop, Cloth & cleft? the boyfriend suddenly hold my hands ... so i just go with the flow... and i can see the smile in his face.... * smiling smiling so happily ** the most scariest place for me... I'll tell you why... It was so damn damn packed and filled with bhai and indian guys with different kind of races for the ladies.... and i wanted to get out from the place as I really have phobia with crowded places... and I get scared really fast and goose bumps... and i met my friends there and talking and hanging out... and next things i know .." POOF!! Deena hilang ke mana entah... and HIM went to toilet and i was like standing at my friends table... and i was panic already...and i saw deena busy dancing with her friends and him talking to his friends....so i texted deena and HIM im leaving the place cause I was shivering and i cannot take it.. so I walked out....then deena was asking me what happen,, then he also came out and drag me inside.. i was lagi extra PHOBIA!!! I'm a type of person which I cannot be in a very too CROWDED places.....then he was telling me, " u think i will leave you there all by yourself alone? So i reply to him, I'll get phobia in this kind of place, what do you expect me to do? Of cause I'll just walked out ....i was talking to him in an angry mode... cause ** u knw i was waiting for so long....and my friends were asking me to call them as he say the place is not really safe for a girl to be alone....and yeah i did sound like scolding him... and he knows i wasn't happy at alll.....


and i tell you, i got no MOOD at all at that time.... I cannot even MOVE, !!! and this is what i told him also... and his face expression '''hmmphh **** U KNOW....... then he ask me to dance... i was like thinking how to dance... there's an indian guy in front of me thinking dat i wan to dance with him and the answer is NO.. and i heard HIM whispering af my ears, says he wants to kiss me ...and more.. which i cant remembered.... so i turn around.. n I kiss him.... =) yes naughty me!

and yeah our tongues are swirling , playing in a sensual mood....and i was happy i kissed him.. Believe me... I do not do that not in front of like too crowded places...and i can feel his hands caressing my body.... wow....okay you may think i'm craze but im not....

So the night begins... and officially on November 30th, I'm proudly announces to everyone that he's MINE! and the following journey begins.....