Today, 1.35pm.... I'm getting more stressed in whatever I'm doing... Stressed as in really dead stresss... Screaming to myself what does it have to happened to me in this way... what did i do to deserve it??? Am I really that "Useless" or stupidddd??? AM I??? I always Question myself almost every single day... Never missed it.... I do it when I'm home.... Outside.... Anywhere.... with friends......Boyfriend?? I'm getting so miserable..... too gloomy and sad untilll I don;t even want to talk to my own boyfriend....
She's like finding her ownself in her own body.. but it's getting too deep into her whereby she has too many dreams which sometimes it did came true.... She cannot think anymore... cannot do what she always plan for the next day... She don't want to talk or express it out... If she feels comfortable and yes she will scream her lungs out... and NOW..... She's living in her own dark world... in her dark room.... YOU...if you are reading it..... and thinking im really a pathetic psychotic person, please leave my blog...
TOO MANY of stupid problems keep arising non stop from the start from dunno years ago till now...... makes me go GILA!!
I can talk to myself.... yes i could... i can do it everyday.... I don';t care....
You know, I always pray I'' died in a car crash accident.... How I wish I will... I don't know why...
So many times problems which makes me sick like this makes me not to love myself......
I did have many, many times nearly nearly got into an accident......
First Nearly escape accident :
1) The night before that, I cried for some reasons.... The next morning I woke up... My mind wasn't in me... I get ready... I walked out from my house.. I din see any car coming.... It was empty.... I walked, I was supposed to go to college.... I stand in the middle of the road.... I don't even know what the hell am i thinking... Like I said,....My mind isn;t with me....The car was really honking at me and I did not even hear a single thing... He was so close to my body... damn close... until someone shouted at me..and my mind woke up.... I cross over.... and funny I don't even know what exactly happened to me.....( Very true story as my OWN MUM was there )
Continue next day.... She's out of MOOD!
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